Jealous

"...to be absent from the body [is] to be present with the Lord." (2 Corinthians 5:8)

Said good-bye to my friend Claire the other day.

When I received the email asking me to visit her in the hospital, my heart sank. She was ready, but was I? What on earth would I say?

I thought back to the beginning of our friendship ten years ago. She was a new believer with a lot of questions and a desire to practice English. That was how our paths crossed. Later on, I watched her head toward seminary and then to our daughter church near Danshui to head up the fledgling ministry there.

When I saw her earlier this year, she looked frail. She wasn't feeling well, couldn't shake her cough.

Three months later, the doctor said she had cancer.

Cancer.

The word sent a ripple of shock and sadness through our church. We prayed-- but for what? For healing to continue her life on earth? Or for healing to continue her life in Heaven?

When I received the email, I knew it was time to come to terms with God's answer. So Sunday afternoon, I climbed into the back seat of an elder's car and headed to the hospital. As he wound through Taipei traffic, I wracked my brain to figure out what I'd say.

We pulled into the hospital, took the elevator up to the seventh floor and found her room. Before we even pushed the door open, we could hear faint strains of someone singing inside. We stole in to find Claire sitting up in bed, hunched forward, breathing heavily through an inhalator but listening to the words of "He Hideth My Soul." We flipped to that hymn and quietly joined in.

When clothed in His brightness, transported I rise
To meet Him in clouds of the sky,
His perfect salvation, His wonderful love,
I'll shout with the millions on high.

I knew that cancer and chemo had ravaged her body, still I was not wholly prepared to see how close she was to death. She was tired from all the visitors that day, so we didn't tarry. Elder Pan prayed, and then we took turns giving her a gentle hug good-bye, blinking back tears that spilled over anyway.

What I didn't say then, I want to say now.

For the past couple months, Grace and Faith have been taking turns being out of the office. This implies a myriad of things-- one of which is the fact that they get to hang out with some dear friends...without me. I can't help but feel a bit jealous. How can I not be when they get to spend time face to face with people I love?

On Monday afternoon, Claire left to meet my dearest Friend of all.

I confess there was a time when I did not anticipate Heaven at all.

Now I can honestly say...

I'm jealous.
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Soul Lemonade, No. 21
Taipei, Taiwan

His Captive Audience

"I will sing to the LORD, for He has triumphed gloriously! The horse and its rider He has thrown into the sea! The LORD is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation; He is my God, and I will praise Him; my father's God, and I will exalt Him." (Exodus 15:1-2)

A Reflection on Taiwan/Hong Kong 2006, as written for tibungla.com

There is nothing quite like the desperation of being trapped-- caught between the Red Sea and Pharaoh's army, the choice of death by drowning or further slavery, the noise of terrified followers and your former captors. Yet you know that God brought you here, and so you watch Him set the stage for what could only be a miracle.

Many a time on this trip, I wavered between fear and faith. On the eve of our departure for Hong Kong, the Lord took me back to the Red Sea. I imagined myself standing with Moses and realized that the difference between him and the rest of the Israelites was his confidence in the will and power of God. He did not panic, because the reality of God was greater than the reality of his circumstances.

That is what God taught me on this trip. He is not limited by my circumstances or my limitations. He will show His power-- the question is whether or not I have the faith to anticipate and watch for it. That is when the desperation of being trapped turns into a rush of adrenaline as we watch the sea part before our very eyes.

There is nothing like being God's captive audience.

He is my God, and I will praise Him.

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To those who prayed for us:

Thank you for fighting with us in the spiritual realm. Thank you for sharing your loved ones with us. Thank you from the families of Taiwan, Hong Kong, and from the bottom of my heart.

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For photos, visit my blog at www.xanga.com/im2bize2blog.

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Soul Lemonade, No. 20
Taipei, Taiwan

The Hope of Divine Intervention

"And Moses said to the people, 'Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for you today...'" (Exodus 14:13)

Imagine...

The roar of waves crashing before you, the thunder of hooves, the crack of whips, punctuated with Egyptian threats behind you, and the wail of desperate complaints around you...

How did Moses face the Red Sea without caving to the fear that he had brought the people to die in the wilderness? How did he have faith when circumstances mocked his faith and his God?

After two back-to-back seminars, my voice and health caved as we said good-bye to the Kaohsiung children on Friday. Thankfully (providentially), we had a few days off for Chinese New Year. Tomorrow we leave for Hong Kong to conduct the first ever Children's Institute in that city. We currently have 264 children registered and only enough interpreters for perhaps 8 teams... which means possibly 30+ children per team. On Wednesday, we get into the facility at 1:00 to set-up and train, and the seminar begins at 6:00. Somehow, I need to relearn all the songs and verses in Cantonese. I have over 100 late passes that didn't make it into the mail before Chinese New Year. The potential for mayhem and chaos makes it incredibly difficult not to cave in to fear and anxiety.

Somehow Moses managed to detach himself from the circumstances that clamored for his attention. He kept his gaze on the One who would not be limited by waves or chariots or fear of demise. Somehow he realized that desperate situations only provided greater potential for Divine Intervention.

Oh, to see that Divine Intervention this week!

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Soul Lemonade, No. 19
Taipei, Taiwan