Why Me? (Lessons from Shanghai)

"Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1)

I shivered, pulling my scarf and jacket closer to shut out the cold night air.

"Biao Jiu Jiu! Uncle!"

Dad and I turned to see a round middle-aged woman and a petite girl wave and rush up to us. The woman turned out to be my grandmother's niece, and the girl her niece and my second cousin Tsai Rui. I named her Raina. Sixteen-year old Raina had short-cropped hair, rosy cheeks, and dark eyes that sparkled when she spoke. They led us down the dark street through a doorway into a crowded apartment filled with more relatives and cigarette smoke. We didn't stay long, but the bare walls, sparse furnishings, and the awkward silence of things unsaid left a deep impression on my heart that I lived in a vastly different world.

Raina and I chatted easily through dinner. She was learning English, and I was trying to pick up more Shanghainese, so we practiced over a feast of curled cucumber, jellyfish, deep-fried breaded toad, fried breaded corn, sesame cakes, and much more. Two hours later and a good deal fuller, my faithful father briefly shared the Gospel with them, we took some family photos and then went our separate ways.

Over the next few days, my mind drifted to that dinner and to the many other experiences in Shanghai that I had only known through history textbooks and family stories... watching my aunt and uncle bike home forty minutes in the chilly autumn night... strolling through the halls of a school decked with portraits of Engel, Marx, Lenin, and Mao... praying with my eyes open... watching policemen scrutinize a friend's business license... wondering what life would be like as an only child... The more I pondered, the more questions spilled over into my prayers--

"Why-- of all my relatives-- did You choose to place me in America? Why did You save my parents so that I could grow up in a Christian family? Why was I born an American citizen instead of a Communist? What in the world would life have been like without Grace, Faith, and Tim? Why was I born Karen Chen instead of Raina Tsai?"

The Lord gave me no deep theological insights... only the simple reminder that He loves me so very much... far more than I will ever know. I am forever indebted to my Savior. So now I ask, "What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me?" (Psalm 116:12)

______________________________

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)

______________________________

Soul Lemonade, No. 3
Shanghai, China