"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." (James 1:17)
It was a gift I thought I did not want. Someone had invited my family to dinner, but I wanted to make my own plans. When dinnertime rolled around, I gritted my teeth, swallowed my complaints, and put on my best pasted smile.
All of that melted, however, when I saw the incredible spread of food and the oil lamps and flowers that graced the tables on the patio. "It's beautiful," I heard myself say.
Our hostess smiled and replied, "A beautiful setting for a beautiful family."
My face flushed with embarrassment... and guilt. Beautiful? I felt anything BUT beautiful. The ugliness of my selfishness taunted me. "You don't deserve any of this," the Holy Spirit whispered. And He was right.
That evening put my entire summer into perspective. I thought of our refreshing, self-imposed SARS quarantine at the Browns' farm... my adventures with Kristi in the back hills of South Carolina and at my first Children's Institute down South... a perfect weekend with some of my closest friends in Arkansas... three packed weeks with a wonderful TESOL class in Oklahoma City... We built mud slides in Iowa, sailed through downtown Chicago at twilight, and played football in Pennsylvania (got to be QB for the first time in my life!). The Lord gave me an opportunity to teacher train at my first Stateside CI and then attend my good friend Melissa's wedding. And if that weren't enough, He's sending me to New Zealand this Tuesday to help out with a two-week photography course!
The Lord has lavished blessing upon blessing, granted desire after desire these last few months-- not because of who I am, but because He is God and He is good.
Last summer, I returned to Taiwan hungry for more vacation, more fun. This year, the Lord used that unwanted dinner invitation to remind me to be grateful for and content with what He has given. And now... my heart is overflowing with the unrestrained goodness of our Lord.
"...my cup runneth over" (Psalm 23:5).
PS: Please pray for me while I'm in New Zealand (Sept 9-27). I will be going somewhere I've never been before to do what I've never done before. I'll tell you about it when I get back. Thanks.
______________________________
Upon the cross of Jesus mine eye at times can see
The very dying form of One Who suffered there for me;
And from my smitten heart with tears two wonders I confess--
The wonders of redeeming love and my unworthiness.
("Beneath the Cross of Jesus" by Elizabeth C. Clephane)
______________________________
Soul Lemonade, No. 6
Taipei, Taiwan
Sunday, September 07, 2003
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
A Bomb Called EMOTION
"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Beware to all who dare to pray, "Lord, keep me humble."
In answer to that innocent prayer, God dropped a bomb called EMOTION that drove away all control and reason from my ordinarily logical being.
A few weeks ago, I left Yankee country to participate in the Atlanta Children's Institute. No, I was not staff-- I was a teacher, who wore "nah-vy blue" and white, cut crafts, wracked my brain to keep the little boys entertained and controlled, and adjusted to the Southern drawl.
This CI served families that attended the Basic Seminar and the Anger Resolution Seminar. I taught Team A1 (Basic Seminar children), so my responsibilities began Monday. The Anger Res Seminar began Thursday, so the staff tried valiantly to recruit new teachers for those children. The Lord gave us three. As last resort, the staff pulled a few Basic Seminar teachers and placed them on brand new teams. Guess who became leader of Team A2? Little ol' moi.
I gathered my things in a daze, trying desperately to maintain control. But as I thought about leaving my team (which included a set of quadruplets-- my quad-shot macchiato-- and a pair of non-identical twins), working with a new assistant, meeting new children, creating a new lesson plan, and doing things like making new bathroom passes, EMOTION hit the pit of my stomach like lead and began to wreak havoc. When my good friend Sarah caught me in the hall and asked, "Karen Chen, are you OK?" I lost it.
With tears streaming down my face, I assured her that I'd be fine. I just needed alone time to regain composure. But when I beheld my bloodshot eyes and bright red nose in the bathroom mirror, I knew it was a lost cause. After fighting back tears for five to ten minutes, I reconciled myself to the reality that I would NOT be able to control myself, and my assistant was going to see me at my worst.
I took a few deep breaths and proceeded towards the classroom. My assistant was already in there cutting crafts for the evening. I nearly sobbed out my greeting:
"Hi, my name is Karen, and I'm not usually like this, but I'll be OK. Really." I added that last word to convince myself more than anyone else.
She looked back and replied calmly, "My name is Brianne. So is this your first CI?"
I choked back both tears and laughter and replied, "No." Somehow I survived the next five minutes until she left for dinner. The empty classroom, however, taunted me with how I had become "high maintenance" and "the point of weakness," so I sought refuge in the only secluded place I could think of... the church graveyard.
I settled down on a granite block and played with the angel hair spaghetti Ginny had gotten for me. Gazing out over the tombstones, I imagined the crises those people had lived through-- war, miscarriage, terminal illness... My musings mercifully led me away from myself to the feet of our Lord. He reminded me that I had asked for humility. He assured me that my worth lay not in what I could accomplish but rather in who I was in Him. What others thought did not matter. There in the graveyard, I learned to surrender my pride and embrace my weakness. And then He began to dry my tears.
I returned to my room a calmer emotional wreck, and there on the white board I found a message from Sarah: "Karen, come find me. I have comassive info."
That "comassive info" was the staff decision to switch me back to my team and make one of my Team A1 assistants the leader of Team A2. I cringed at the thought of them making adjustments for me, but I faced my weakness and accepted it as God's measure of grace for me.
Perhaps no one will ever know just how much the Lord glorified Himself that evening, but I went home much more aware of how utterly helpless I am without Him... and that was exactly where He wanted me.
"...for when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).
______________________________
Soul Lemonade, No. 5
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Beware to all who dare to pray, "Lord, keep me humble."
In answer to that innocent prayer, God dropped a bomb called EMOTION that drove away all control and reason from my ordinarily logical being.
A few weeks ago, I left Yankee country to participate in the Atlanta Children's Institute. No, I was not staff-- I was a teacher, who wore "nah-vy blue" and white, cut crafts, wracked my brain to keep the little boys entertained and controlled, and adjusted to the Southern drawl.
This CI served families that attended the Basic Seminar and the Anger Resolution Seminar. I taught Team A1 (Basic Seminar children), so my responsibilities began Monday. The Anger Res Seminar began Thursday, so the staff tried valiantly to recruit new teachers for those children. The Lord gave us three. As last resort, the staff pulled a few Basic Seminar teachers and placed them on brand new teams. Guess who became leader of Team A2? Little ol' moi.
I gathered my things in a daze, trying desperately to maintain control. But as I thought about leaving my team (which included a set of quadruplets-- my quad-shot macchiato-- and a pair of non-identical twins), working with a new assistant, meeting new children, creating a new lesson plan, and doing things like making new bathroom passes, EMOTION hit the pit of my stomach like lead and began to wreak havoc. When my good friend Sarah caught me in the hall and asked, "Karen Chen, are you OK?" I lost it.
With tears streaming down my face, I assured her that I'd be fine. I just needed alone time to regain composure. But when I beheld my bloodshot eyes and bright red nose in the bathroom mirror, I knew it was a lost cause. After fighting back tears for five to ten minutes, I reconciled myself to the reality that I would NOT be able to control myself, and my assistant was going to see me at my worst.
I took a few deep breaths and proceeded towards the classroom. My assistant was already in there cutting crafts for the evening. I nearly sobbed out my greeting:
"Hi, my name is Karen, and I'm not usually like this, but I'll be OK. Really." I added that last word to convince myself more than anyone else.
She looked back and replied calmly, "My name is Brianne. So is this your first CI?"
I choked back both tears and laughter and replied, "No." Somehow I survived the next five minutes until she left for dinner. The empty classroom, however, taunted me with how I had become "high maintenance" and "the point of weakness," so I sought refuge in the only secluded place I could think of... the church graveyard.
I settled down on a granite block and played with the angel hair spaghetti Ginny had gotten for me. Gazing out over the tombstones, I imagined the crises those people had lived through-- war, miscarriage, terminal illness... My musings mercifully led me away from myself to the feet of our Lord. He reminded me that I had asked for humility. He assured me that my worth lay not in what I could accomplish but rather in who I was in Him. What others thought did not matter. There in the graveyard, I learned to surrender my pride and embrace my weakness. And then He began to dry my tears.
I returned to my room a calmer emotional wreck, and there on the white board I found a message from Sarah: "Karen, come find me. I have comassive info."
That "comassive info" was the staff decision to switch me back to my team and make one of my Team A1 assistants the leader of Team A2. I cringed at the thought of them making adjustments for me, but I faced my weakness and accepted it as God's measure of grace for me.
Perhaps no one will ever know just how much the Lord glorified Himself that evening, but I went home much more aware of how utterly helpless I am without Him... and that was exactly where He wanted me.
"...for when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).
______________________________
Soul Lemonade, No. 5
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Sunday, February 23, 2003
The Importance of Being Ignorant
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning" (James 1:17).
A Comical Consolation on Aging
CAST (in order of appearance):
ACT ONE: The Salon (Kaohsiung, Taiwan)
Two men in black converse on walkies outside the salon.
BEN: Ro, do you read me?
RO: Copy.
BEN: What's your location?
RO: Behind the truck next to the salon.
BEN: I think it's time to make the drop.
RO: You have the paper?
BEN: Yeah. Follow me in.
Meanwhile, three ladies sit innocently in the salon, hair lathered up in shampoo.
JANY: Is that Ben?
KAR: (turning to peer out the window) Sure looked like him, but why would Ben be here when the team is about to leave for the coast? And why is he wearing BLACK on such a hot day?
CHRIS: Weird.
A few minutes later, there is a commotion at the door. Ben strides in with Ro snapping pictures in his wake. Ben slaps a newspaper down on the table in front of Kar and walks out without a word.
KAR: Grief!
CHRIS: (laughing)
STARLA: (laughing) What were they DOING?
Hairdressers: Who are they?!? Are they the gou zai dui?
KAR: What are gou zai dui?
JANY: You know, like the news people who follow people.
CHRIS: Oh, like the paparazzi?
STARLA: How funny.
KAR: (to hairdressers) No, they're not the gou zai dui. They're just some of our very strange friends.
Hairdressers: Are they OK?
KAR: I... think...so. At least I thought so.
STARLA: So that WAS Ben!
JANY: Yeah, so I did see Ben.
CHRIS: Why did they give you that paper?
KAR: I don't know. (pausing to look) Huh-- there's a piece of paper stuck in it.
STARLA: What does it say?
KAR: It says, "You are being watched." Weird. I think the heat is going to their head.
Hairdressers: Why are they sitting outside? Do they want to come in?
KAR: Well, I guess if they're here, they may as well join us. Jany, could you ask them to come in?
JANY: Sure. (departs)
KAR: (to self) I wonder why they're not with the group. They're supposed to leave for the coast any minute now.
JANY: (returning) They won't talk to me.
KAR: They won't?!?
CHRIS: Weird.
KAR: I'll try calling them. (dials on cell phone)
ROWAN: (over phone) Wei?
KAR: Hello, Rowan? Why don't you...
ROWAN: (over phone) Wo ting bu dong. (I don't understand.) (click)
KAR: (incredulously) He hung up on me!
STARLA: That's strange.
CHRIS: Well, if they want to play this game, let's just play along. We'll enjoy our shampoo and they can roast in the sun.
The girls return their attention to the mirror, while the hairdressers work on straightening their hair. An hour later...
CHRIS: Starla! Your hair looks so cute straight!
KAR: I love it!
STARLA: (admiring her hair in the mirror) I can't believe how straight it is!
JANY: (to hairdresser) If I come back in a couple days, could you cut my hair so it looks like hers?
Hairdresser: Sure.
KAR: Let's take a picture and then take a taxi to the coast. If the guys are still around, we can take two taxis.
CHRIS: OK.
Girls get in place with the hairdressers, and Jany takes their picture. The girls pay and head outside.
KAR: (catching sight of Ben behind a pillar) Ben! (waving) Ben!
(Ben turns on his heels)
KAR: (following) Ben! We're going to take a taxi, are you coming?
(Ben quickens his pace, looking over his shoulder occasionally)
KAR: (frustrated) What is his problem?
CHRIS: Forget about him.
STARLA: That's strange.
CHRIS: You go on ahead. I'll try to get his attention. (turning back after Ben) Ben!
JANY: Why is he acting that way?
KAR: I don't know, but if he's going to play that game, let's leave without him. He'll just have to find a way to follow us.
CHRIS: (returning) I lost him.
KAR: (dialing cell phone) Well, forget it. I'll call Faith and tell her we're coming without them.
FAITH: (over phone) Hello?
KAR: Hello, Faith? Hi, we're done. I've been trying to get Ben's attention to come with us, but he's acting really weird.
FAITH: (over phone) Why? What's he doing?
KAR: Every time I try to follow him, he runs away.
FAITH: Weird. Well, where is he now?
KAR: I don't know. (turning) Oh! He just rounded the corner.
FAITH: What's he doing?
KAR: He just dropped a pink piece of paper on the ground!
FAITH: Well, what does it say?
KAR: (walking over to pick up the paper) It says, "From the Hi Lai, go over Wu-Fu, follow each clue..." (pause) Wait a minute! This isn't his handwriting! What the cheese are you guys doing?
FAITH: (laughing and trying to sound innocent) What do you mean?
KAR: OK, OK... I'll play along.
FAITH: Right. Bye.
Hmm... at this rate, this play will go on far too long for my readers. So for your sake, I will give you the reader's digest version.
After I hung up, I embarked on a two and half hour adventure through the streets and alleys of Kaohsiung.
Clue #1 took me to the basketball court in the park, where I saw six Americans dressed in red and black playing bball under the hot sun. As I drew closer, I saw black 27s taped onto their backs. When I finally arrived, they stopped the game and launched into a great game-time rendition of "Hap-py Birth-day, Ka-ren!" The only catch was that I had to shoot 27 baskets before I could get my next clue! (Did I ever tell you that bball is NOT my sport?) After what seemed like an eternity, I earned six red roses and Clue #2...
Which took me to the Love River near our hotel. En route, my personal paparazzi snapped pictures as they passed by in a taxi. They pulled out just ahead of us and dashed down the river, and so we followed. There I found five statues dressed in black, each posing with a sunflower-- from the dreamy "he-loves-me-not" to the fierce fencer to the jazzy saxophone player to the golfer in mid-swing to the Ronald McDonald. They got their share of stares from the lantern festival workers. But after I "unfroze" them all, they presented me with Clue #3...
Which took me directly to Starbucks. And across the street were six picketers, dressed, decorated, and faces painted in the colors of the rainbow. They raised quite a ruckus-- especially with their "Honk, it's my birthday" sign. I kid you not, the Boba made me wave it at on-coming traffic until I earned 27 honks. If they had not been such great sports, I would have died of 
embarrassment. When I persuaded enough drivers to honk for me, they shooed me back across the street into Starbucks... where the paparazzi were waiting for me behind the counter! They presented me with Clue #4 in a coffee cup and promptly disappeared.
Clue #4 baffled me. (Getting older does NOT
mean that you necessarily get smarter!) With a lot of help from my friends and the elusive paparazzi, I heard strains of "The Sound of Music" wafting from the underpass-- "Kaohsiung is alive with the sound of music, With songs we have sung for the past few days. The underpass is filled with the sound of birthday..." The first song surprised me. The second song amazed me. After that, I was speechless. Somehow, this group managed to rewrite the lyrics to SIX 
different SOM songs for the occasion. Two more clues to go...
It took a few guesses and a couple hints to solve Clue #5. I led the growing group (we were drawing attention to ourselves) to an outdoor cafe in the park-- not too far from the basketball court. There I found five people dressed in the "GAP summer look" (white and khaki), each reading at a different table with a single rose lying in front of them. They treated me to a light Oreo cake and peach smoothie, while I read my final clue...
Which took me "home" to Kingdom Hotel. The last five people stood outside with mismatching socks, hotel slippers, and newspapers shielding their faces. I pegged them all (including the newly corn-rowed Liesel), and then returned to my room heavily laden with a huge bouquet of
flowers, which had grown with each stop.
That was two weeks ago. The flowers have since wilted, but that bouquet of everything from roses to sunflowers to Queen Anne's lace to daisies represented the variety of lives and friendships Jesus has already given me this year. One of my "New Year's resolutions" was to make time for people. In the past, work robbed me
of time with the seminar team. This year, I purposed to set aside work that wasn't absolutely necessary to build relationships with my teachers. The reward? Not only an incredible birthday celebration and a lot of fun memories, but a beautiful bouquet of friendships, which I hope will last through eternity.
I guess getting older isn't such a bad thing after all...
______________________________
Editor's Note: While the characters in this Soul Lemonade are real, conversations were not quoted verbatim due to the editor's age and ailing memory. A BIG THANK YOU once again to the 2003 seminar team and all you did to make my transition into twenty-seven so memorable. I love you guys!
______________________________
Soul Lemonade, No. 4
Taipei, Taiwan
A Comical Consolation on Aging
CAST (in order of appearance):
BEN: Ben McGregor, Spy #1
RO: Rowan Gillson, Spy #2
JANY: Jany Chen, Oblivious Friend
KAR: Karen Chen, Clueless Birthday Girl
CHRIS: Christina Mason, Cohort #1
STARLA: Starla Adams, Cohort #2
FAITH: Faith Chen, Cohort #3
ACT ONE: The Salon (Kaohsiung, Taiwan)
Two men in black converse on walkies outside the salon.
BEN: Ro, do you read me?
RO: Copy.
BEN: What's your location?
RO: Behind the truck next to the salon.
BEN: I think it's time to make the drop.
RO: You have the paper?
BEN: Yeah. Follow me in.
Meanwhile, three ladies sit innocently in the salon, hair lathered up in shampoo.
JANY: Is that Ben?
KAR: (turning to peer out the window) Sure looked like him, but why would Ben be here when the team is about to leave for the coast? And why is he wearing BLACK on such a hot day?
CHRIS: Weird.
A few minutes later, there is a commotion at the door. Ben strides in with Ro snapping pictures in his wake. Ben slaps a newspaper down on the table in front of Kar and walks out without a word.KAR: Grief!
CHRIS: (laughing)
STARLA: (laughing) What were they DOING?
Hairdressers: Who are they?!? Are they the gou zai dui?
KAR: What are gou zai dui?
JANY: You know, like the news people who follow people.
CHRIS: Oh, like the paparazzi?
STARLA: How funny.
KAR: (to hairdressers) No, they're not the gou zai dui. They're just some of our very strange friends.
Hairdressers: Are they OK?
KAR: I... think...so. At least I thought so.
STARLA: So that WAS Ben!
JANY: Yeah, so I did see Ben.
CHRIS: Why did they give you that paper?
KAR: I don't know. (pausing to look) Huh-- there's a piece of paper stuck in it.
STARLA: What does it say?
KAR: It says, "You are being watched." Weird. I think the heat is going to their head.
Hairdressers: Why are they sitting outside? Do they want to come in?
KAR: Well, I guess if they're here, they may as well join us. Jany, could you ask them to come in?
JANY: Sure. (departs)
KAR: (to self) I wonder why they're not with the group. They're supposed to leave for the coast any minute now.
JANY: (returning) They won't talk to me.
KAR: They won't?!?
CHRIS: Weird.
KAR: I'll try calling them. (dials on cell phone)
ROWAN: (over phone) Wei?
KAR: Hello, Rowan? Why don't you...
ROWAN: (over phone) Wo ting bu dong. (I don't understand.) (click)
KAR: (incredulously) He hung up on me!
STARLA: That's strange.
CHRIS: Well, if they want to play this game, let's just play along. We'll enjoy our shampoo and they can roast in the sun.
The girls return their attention to the mirror, while the hairdressers work on straightening their hair. An hour later...
CHRIS: Starla! Your hair looks so cute straight!
KAR: I love it!
STARLA: (admiring her hair in the mirror) I can't believe how straight it is!
JANY: (to hairdresser) If I come back in a couple days, could you cut my hair so it looks like hers?
Hairdresser: Sure.
KAR: Let's take a picture and then take a taxi to the coast. If the guys are still around, we can take two taxis.
CHRIS: OK.
Girls get in place with the hairdressers, and Jany takes their picture. The girls pay and head outside.
KAR: (catching sight of Ben behind a pillar) Ben! (waving) Ben!
(Ben turns on his heels)
KAR: (following) Ben! We're going to take a taxi, are you coming?
(Ben quickens his pace, looking over his shoulder occasionally)
KAR: (frustrated) What is his problem?
CHRIS: Forget about him.
STARLA: That's strange.
CHRIS: You go on ahead. I'll try to get his attention. (turning back after Ben) Ben!
JANY: Why is he acting that way?
KAR: I don't know, but if he's going to play that game, let's leave without him. He'll just have to find a way to follow us.
CHRIS: (returning) I lost him.
KAR: (dialing cell phone) Well, forget it. I'll call Faith and tell her we're coming without them.
FAITH: (over phone) Hello?
KAR: Hello, Faith? Hi, we're done. I've been trying to get Ben's attention to come with us, but he's acting really weird.
FAITH: (over phone) Why? What's he doing?
KAR: Every time I try to follow him, he runs away.
FAITH: Weird. Well, where is he now?
KAR: I don't know. (turning) Oh! He just rounded the corner.
FAITH: What's he doing?
KAR: He just dropped a pink piece of paper on the ground!
FAITH: Well, what does it say?
KAR: (walking over to pick up the paper) It says, "From the Hi Lai, go over Wu-Fu, follow each clue..." (pause) Wait a minute! This isn't his handwriting! What the cheese are you guys doing?
FAITH: (laughing and trying to sound innocent) What do you mean?
KAR: OK, OK... I'll play along.
FAITH: Right. Bye.
Hmm... at this rate, this play will go on far too long for my readers. So for your sake, I will give you the reader's digest version.
After I hung up, I embarked on a two and half hour adventure through the streets and alleys of Kaohsiung.
Clue #1 took me to the basketball court in the park, where I saw six Americans dressed in red and black playing bball under the hot sun. As I drew closer, I saw black 27s taped onto their backs. When I finally arrived, they stopped the game and launched into a great game-time rendition of "Hap-py Birth-day, Ka-ren!" The only catch was that I had to shoot 27 baskets before I could get my next clue! (Did I ever tell you that bball is NOT my sport?) After what seemed like an eternity, I earned six red roses and Clue #2...
Which took me to the Love River near our hotel. En route, my personal paparazzi snapped pictures as they passed by in a taxi. They pulled out just ahead of us and dashed down the river, and so we followed. There I found five statues dressed in black, each posing with a sunflower-- from the dreamy "he-loves-me-not" to the fierce fencer to the jazzy saxophone player to the golfer in mid-swing to the Ronald McDonald. They got their share of stares from the lantern festival workers. But after I "unfroze" them all, they presented me with Clue #3...
Which took me directly to Starbucks. And across the street were six picketers, dressed, decorated, and faces painted in the colors of the rainbow. They raised quite a ruckus-- especially with their "Honk, it's my birthday" sign. I kid you not, the Boba made me wave it at on-coming traffic until I earned 27 honks. If they had not been such great sports, I would have died of 
embarrassment. When I persuaded enough drivers to honk for me, they shooed me back across the street into Starbucks... where the paparazzi were waiting for me behind the counter! They presented me with Clue #4 in a coffee cup and promptly disappeared.Clue #4 baffled me. (Getting older does NOT
mean that you necessarily get smarter!) With a lot of help from my friends and the elusive paparazzi, I heard strains of "The Sound of Music" wafting from the underpass-- "Kaohsiung is alive with the sound of music, With songs we have sung for the past few days. The underpass is filled with the sound of birthday..." The first song surprised me. The second song amazed me. After that, I was speechless. Somehow, this group managed to rewrite the lyrics to SIX 
different SOM songs for the occasion. Two more clues to go...It took a few guesses and a couple hints to solve Clue #5. I led the growing group (we were drawing attention to ourselves) to an outdoor cafe in the park-- not too far from the basketball court. There I found five people dressed in the "GAP summer look" (white and khaki), each reading at a different table with a single rose lying in front of them. They treated me to a light Oreo cake and peach smoothie, while I read my final clue...
Which took me "home" to Kingdom Hotel. The last five people stood outside with mismatching socks, hotel slippers, and newspapers shielding their faces. I pegged them all (including the newly corn-rowed Liesel), and then returned to my room heavily laden with a huge bouquet of
flowers, which had grown with each stop.That was two weeks ago. The flowers have since wilted, but that bouquet of everything from roses to sunflowers to Queen Anne's lace to daisies represented the variety of lives and friendships Jesus has already given me this year. One of my "New Year's resolutions" was to make time for people. In the past, work robbed me
of time with the seminar team. This year, I purposed to set aside work that wasn't absolutely necessary to build relationships with my teachers. The reward? Not only an incredible birthday celebration and a lot of fun memories, but a beautiful bouquet of friendships, which I hope will last through eternity.I guess getting older isn't such a bad thing after all...
______________________________
Editor's Note: While the characters in this Soul Lemonade are real, conversations were not quoted verbatim due to the editor's age and ailing memory. A BIG THANK YOU once again to the 2003 seminar team and all you did to make my transition into twenty-seven so memorable. I love you guys!
______________________________
Soul Lemonade, No. 4
Taipei, Taiwan
Sunday, November 03, 2002
Why Me? (Lessons from Shanghai)
"Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1)
I shivered, pulling my scarf and jacket closer to shut out the cold night air.
"Biao Jiu Jiu! Uncle!"
Dad and I turned to see a round middle-aged woman and a petite girl wave and rush up to us. The woman turned out to be my grandmother's niece, and the girl her niece and my second cousin Tsai Rui. I named her Raina. Sixteen-year old Raina had short-cropped hair, rosy cheeks, and dark eyes that sparkled when she spoke. They led us down the dark street through a doorway into a crowded apartment filled with more relatives and cigarette smoke. We didn't stay long, but the bare walls, sparse furnishings, and the awkward silence of things unsaid left a deep impression on my heart that I lived in a vastly different world.
Raina and I chatted easily through dinner. She was learning English, and I was trying to pick up more Shanghainese, so we practiced over a feast of curled cucumber, jellyfish, deep-fried breaded toad, fried breaded corn, sesame cakes, and much more. Two hours later and a good deal fuller, my faithful father briefly shared the Gospel with them, we took some family photos and then went our separate ways.
Over the next few days, my mind drifted to that dinner and to the many other experiences in Shanghai that I had only known through history textbooks and family stories... watching my aunt and uncle bike home forty minutes in the chilly autumn night... strolling through the halls of a school decked with portraits of Engel, Marx, Lenin, and Mao... praying with my eyes open... watching policemen scrutinize a friend's business license... wondering what life would be like as an only child... The more I pondered, the more questions spilled over into my prayers--
"Why-- of all my relatives-- did You choose to place me in America? Why did You save my parents so that I could grow up in a Christian family? Why was I born an American citizen instead of a Communist? What in the world would life have been like without Grace, Faith, and Tim? Why was I born Karen Chen instead of Raina Tsai?"
The Lord gave me no deep theological insights... only the simple reminder that He loves me so very much... far more than I will ever know. I am forever indebted to my Savior. So now I ask, "What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me?" (Psalm 116:12)
______________________________
"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)
______________________________
Soul Lemonade, No. 3
Shanghai, China
I shivered, pulling my scarf and jacket closer to shut out the cold night air.
"Biao Jiu Jiu! Uncle!"
Dad and I turned to see a round middle-aged woman and a petite girl wave and rush up to us. The woman turned out to be my grandmother's niece, and the girl her niece and my second cousin Tsai Rui. I named her Raina. Sixteen-year old Raina had short-cropped hair, rosy cheeks, and dark eyes that sparkled when she spoke. They led us down the dark street through a doorway into a crowded apartment filled with more relatives and cigarette smoke. We didn't stay long, but the bare walls, sparse furnishings, and the awkward silence of things unsaid left a deep impression on my heart that I lived in a vastly different world.
Raina and I chatted easily through dinner. She was learning English, and I was trying to pick up more Shanghainese, so we practiced over a feast of curled cucumber, jellyfish, deep-fried breaded toad, fried breaded corn, sesame cakes, and much more. Two hours later and a good deal fuller, my faithful father briefly shared the Gospel with them, we took some family photos and then went our separate ways.
Over the next few days, my mind drifted to that dinner and to the many other experiences in Shanghai that I had only known through history textbooks and family stories... watching my aunt and uncle bike home forty minutes in the chilly autumn night... strolling through the halls of a school decked with portraits of Engel, Marx, Lenin, and Mao... praying with my eyes open... watching policemen scrutinize a friend's business license... wondering what life would be like as an only child... The more I pondered, the more questions spilled over into my prayers--
"Why-- of all my relatives-- did You choose to place me in America? Why did You save my parents so that I could grow up in a Christian family? Why was I born an American citizen instead of a Communist? What in the world would life have been like without Grace, Faith, and Tim? Why was I born Karen Chen instead of Raina Tsai?"
The Lord gave me no deep theological insights... only the simple reminder that He loves me so very much... far more than I will ever know. I am forever indebted to my Savior. So now I ask, "What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me?" (Psalm 116:12)
______________________________
"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)
______________________________
Soul Lemonade, No. 3
Shanghai, China
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
A Case of Kitchenphobia
"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ" (Colossians 3:23-24).
Anyone who knows me well has no misconceptions about my cooking skills: I am about as comfortable in a kitchen as a polar bear would be in Taiwan. For this year's fellowship potluck, Faith coaxed me out of my comfort zone and persuaded me to "go where I had never gone before." In other words, I decided to attempt a dish I knew only by taste-- not by recipe.
I awoke Saturday morning, muscles taut and soul tensed for the day's challenges. I donned my new apron and tried to make sense of the recipe. Thank God for Faith, who coached me through the process ("Boil the water before you peel the potatoes... Dump out the water and let them cool before you try to peel them.") and for Mom who helped me with the work when time was running away from me. As I neared the final stretch, I encountered a big dilemma: "season to taste." To whose taste? My complacent taste buds are easily satisfied. Was it too salty? Too bland? Too--? How was I to know what others would like? As I scooped my dish into a plastic container, I had a sinking feeling that all my hard work would only pass as "average" in comparison to other dishes. No one would know the sweat and worries I had invested in that meager offering. And then the Lord reminded me of something I had read earlier that week in Keep a Quiet Heart:
My resolve began to waver, when I walked into the fellowship hall to hear "oohs" and "aahs" (and near drooling) over dishes far more exquisite than mine. Not wanting to draw any undue attention to myself, I dropped off my box and occupied myself far away from the serving tables. When the potluck concluded, most people took home empty pots and containers, while I had to swallow my pride and quietly put my box-- still partially full-- back in my bag.
But that was OK. I knew the Lord had a far deeper lesson for me to learn than simply cooking. He used the potluck to teach me once again that true servanthood is to do all things for no one's praise but His. He knew what I had done-- and that was enough.
______________________________
"I never made a sacrifice. Of this we ought not to talk when we remember the great sacrifice which He made Who left His Father's throne on high to give Himself for us." ~ David Livingstone
______________________________
PS: My hat goes off to all family and friends who cook day in and day out... for God's glory and not their own.
Soul Lemonade, No. 2
Taipei, Taiwan
Anyone who knows me well has no misconceptions about my cooking skills: I am about as comfortable in a kitchen as a polar bear would be in Taiwan. For this year's fellowship potluck, Faith coaxed me out of my comfort zone and persuaded me to "go where I had never gone before." In other words, I decided to attempt a dish I knew only by taste-- not by recipe.
I awoke Saturday morning, muscles taut and soul tensed for the day's challenges. I donned my new apron and tried to make sense of the recipe. Thank God for Faith, who coached me through the process ("Boil the water before you peel the potatoes... Dump out the water and let them cool before you try to peel them.") and for Mom who helped me with the work when time was running away from me. As I neared the final stretch, I encountered a big dilemma: "season to taste." To whose taste? My complacent taste buds are easily satisfied. Was it too salty? Too bland? Too--? How was I to know what others would like? As I scooped my dish into a plastic container, I had a sinking feeling that all my hard work would only pass as "average" in comparison to other dishes. No one would know the sweat and worries I had invested in that meager offering. And then the Lord reminded me of something I had read earlier that week in Keep a Quiet Heart:
[God's] wisdom is perfect, His knowledge embraces not only all worlds but the individual hearts and minds of each of His loved children. With intimate understanding of our deepest needs and individual capacities, He chooses our curriculum. We need only ask, “Give us this day our daily bread, our daily lessons, our homework.” An angry retort from someone may be just the occasion we need in which to learn not only longsuffering and forgiveness, but meekness and gentleness; fruits not born in us but borne only by the Spirit. ("God Curriculum" by Elisabeth Elliot, p. 82)I took a deep breath and reminded myself that the Lord may have ordered this potluck, so that the Spirit could bear meekness and humility in my life. Balancing my tupperware container and Grace's beautiful plate of seven-layer jello, I flagged down a taxi, purposing not to compare with others, not to measure my success or failure by other people's tastebuds.
My resolve began to waver, when I walked into the fellowship hall to hear "oohs" and "aahs" (and near drooling) over dishes far more exquisite than mine. Not wanting to draw any undue attention to myself, I dropped off my box and occupied myself far away from the serving tables. When the potluck concluded, most people took home empty pots and containers, while I had to swallow my pride and quietly put my box-- still partially full-- back in my bag.
But that was OK. I knew the Lord had a far deeper lesson for me to learn than simply cooking. He used the potluck to teach me once again that true servanthood is to do all things for no one's praise but His. He knew what I had done-- and that was enough.
______________________________
"I never made a sacrifice. Of this we ought not to talk when we remember the great sacrifice which He made Who left His Father's throne on high to give Himself for us." ~ David Livingstone
______________________________
PS: My hat goes off to all family and friends who cook day in and day out... for God's glory and not their own.
Soul Lemonade, No. 2
Taipei, Taiwan
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