"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." (James 1:17)
It was a gift I thought I did not want. Someone had invited my family to dinner, but I wanted to make my own plans. When dinnertime rolled around, I gritted my teeth, swallowed my complaints, and put on my best pasted smile.
All of that melted, however, when I saw the incredible spread of food and the oil lamps and flowers that graced the tables on the patio. "It's beautiful," I heard myself say.
Our hostess smiled and replied, "A beautiful setting for a beautiful family."
My face flushed with embarrassment... and guilt. Beautiful? I felt anything BUT beautiful. The ugliness of my selfishness taunted me. "You don't deserve any of this," the Holy Spirit whispered. And He was right.
That evening put my entire summer into perspective. I thought of our refreshing, self-imposed SARS quarantine at the Browns' farm... my adventures with Kristi in the back hills of South Carolina and at my first Children's Institute down South... a perfect weekend with some of my closest friends in Arkansas... three packed weeks with a wonderful TESOL class in Oklahoma City... We built mud slides in Iowa, sailed through downtown Chicago at twilight, and played football in Pennsylvania (got to be QB for the first time in my life!). The Lord gave me an opportunity to teacher train at my first Stateside CI and then attend my good friend Melissa's wedding. And if that weren't enough, He's sending me to New Zealand this Tuesday to help out with a two-week photography course!
The Lord has lavished blessing upon blessing, granted desire after desire these last few months-- not because of who I am, but because He is God and He is good.
Last summer, I returned to Taiwan hungry for more vacation, more fun. This year, the Lord used that unwanted dinner invitation to remind me to be grateful for and content with what He has given. And now... my heart is overflowing with the unrestrained goodness of our Lord.
"...my cup runneth over" (Psalm 23:5).
PS: Please pray for me while I'm in New Zealand (Sept 9-27). I will be going somewhere I've never been before to do what I've never done before. I'll tell you about it when I get back. Thanks.
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Upon the cross of Jesus mine eye at times can see
The very dying form of One Who suffered there for me;
And from my smitten heart with tears two wonders I confess--
The wonders of redeeming love and my unworthiness.
("Beneath the Cross of Jesus" by Elizabeth C. Clephane)
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Soul Lemonade, No. 6
Taipei, Taiwan
