A Comical Consolation on Aging
CAST (in order of appearance):
BEN: Ben McGregor, Spy #1
RO: Rowan Gillson, Spy #2
JANY: Jany Chen, Oblivious Friend
KAR: Karen Chen, Clueless Birthday Girl
CHRIS: Christina Mason, Cohort #1
STARLA: Starla Adams, Cohort #2
FAITH: Faith Chen, Cohort #3
ACT ONE: The Salon (Kaohsiung, Taiwan)
Two men in black converse on walkies outside the salon.
BEN: Ro, do you read me?
RO: Copy.
BEN: What's your location?
RO: Behind the truck next to the salon.
BEN: I think it's time to make the drop.
RO: You have the paper?
BEN: Yeah. Follow me in.
Meanwhile, three ladies sit innocently in the salon, hair lathered up in shampoo.
JANY: Is that Ben?
KAR: (turning to peer out the window) Sure looked like him, but why would Ben be here when the team is about to leave for the coast? And why is he wearing BLACK on such a hot day?
CHRIS: Weird.
A few minutes later, there is a commotion at the door. Ben strides in with Ro snapping pictures in his wake. Ben slaps a newspaper down on the table in front of Kar and walks out without a word.KAR: Grief!
CHRIS: (laughing)
STARLA: (laughing) What were they DOING?
Hairdressers: Who are they?!? Are they the gou zai dui?
KAR: What are gou zai dui?
JANY: You know, like the news people who follow people.
CHRIS: Oh, like the paparazzi?
STARLA: How funny.
KAR: (to hairdressers) No, they're not the gou zai dui. They're just some of our very strange friends.
Hairdressers: Are they OK?
KAR: I... think...so. At least I thought so.
STARLA: So that WAS Ben!
JANY: Yeah, so I did see Ben.
CHRIS: Why did they give you that paper?
KAR: I don't know. (pausing to look) Huh-- there's a piece of paper stuck in it.
STARLA: What does it say?
KAR: It says, "You are being watched." Weird. I think the heat is going to their head.
Hairdressers: Why are they sitting outside? Do they want to come in?
KAR: Well, I guess if they're here, they may as well join us. Jany, could you ask them to come in?
JANY: Sure. (departs)
KAR: (to self) I wonder why they're not with the group. They're supposed to leave for the coast any minute now.
JANY: (returning) They won't talk to me.
KAR: They won't?!?
CHRIS: Weird.
KAR: I'll try calling them. (dials on cell phone)
ROWAN: (over phone) Wei?
KAR: Hello, Rowan? Why don't you...
ROWAN: (over phone) Wo ting bu dong. (I don't understand.) (click)
KAR: (incredulously) He hung up on me!
STARLA: That's strange.
CHRIS: Well, if they want to play this game, let's just play along. We'll enjoy our shampoo and they can roast in the sun.
The girls return their attention to the mirror, while the hairdressers work on straightening their hair. An hour later...
CHRIS: Starla! Your hair looks so cute straight!
KAR: I love it!
STARLA: (admiring her hair in the mirror) I can't believe how straight it is!
JANY: (to hairdresser) If I come back in a couple days, could you cut my hair so it looks like hers?
Hairdresser: Sure.
KAR: Let's take a picture and then take a taxi to the coast. If the guys are still around, we can take two taxis.
CHRIS: OK.
Girls get in place with the hairdressers, and Jany takes their picture. The girls pay and head outside.
KAR: (catching sight of Ben behind a pillar) Ben! (waving) Ben!
(Ben turns on his heels)
KAR: (following) Ben! We're going to take a taxi, are you coming?
(Ben quickens his pace, looking over his shoulder occasionally)
KAR: (frustrated) What is his problem?
CHRIS: Forget about him.
STARLA: That's strange.
CHRIS: You go on ahead. I'll try to get his attention. (turning back after Ben) Ben!
JANY: Why is he acting that way?
KAR: I don't know, but if he's going to play that game, let's leave without him. He'll just have to find a way to follow us.
CHRIS: (returning) I lost him.
KAR: (dialing cell phone) Well, forget it. I'll call Faith and tell her we're coming without them.
FAITH: (over phone) Hello?
KAR: Hello, Faith? Hi, we're done. I've been trying to get Ben's attention to come with us, but he's acting really weird.
FAITH: (over phone) Why? What's he doing?
KAR: Every time I try to follow him, he runs away.
FAITH: Weird. Well, where is he now?
KAR: I don't know. (turning) Oh! He just rounded the corner.
FAITH: What's he doing?
KAR: He just dropped a pink piece of paper on the ground!
FAITH: Well, what does it say?
KAR: (walking over to pick up the paper) It says, "From the Hi Lai, go over Wu-Fu, follow each clue..." (pause) Wait a minute! This isn't his handwriting! What the cheese are you guys doing?
FAITH: (laughing and trying to sound innocent) What do you mean?
KAR: OK, OK... I'll play along.
FAITH: Right. Bye.
Hmm... at this rate, this play will go on far too long for my readers. So for your sake, I will give you the reader's digest version.
After I hung up, I embarked on a two and half hour adventure through the streets and alleys of Kaohsiung.
Clue #1 took me to the basketball court in the park, where I saw six Americans dressed in red and black playing bball under the hot sun. As I drew closer, I saw black 27s taped onto their backs. When I finally arrived, they stopped the game and launched into a great game-time rendition of "Hap-py Birth-day, Ka-ren!" The only catch was that I had to shoot 27 baskets before I could get my next clue! (Did I ever tell you that bball is NOT my sport?) After what seemed like an eternity, I earned six red roses and Clue #2...
Which took me to the Love River near our hotel. En route, my personal paparazzi snapped pictures as they passed by in a taxi. They pulled out just ahead of us and dashed down the river, and so we followed. There I found five statues dressed in black, each posing with a sunflower-- from the dreamy "he-loves-me-not" to the fierce fencer to the jazzy saxophone player to the golfer in mid-swing to the Ronald McDonald. They got their share of stares from the lantern festival workers. But after I "unfroze" them all, they presented me with Clue #3...
Which took me directly to Starbucks. And across the street were six picketers, dressed, decorated, and faces painted in the colors of the rainbow. They raised quite a ruckus-- especially with their "Honk, it's my birthday" sign. I kid you not, the Boba made me wave it at on-coming traffic until I earned 27 honks. If they had not been such great sports, I would have died of 
embarrassment. When I persuaded enough drivers to honk for me, they shooed me back across the street into Starbucks... where the paparazzi were waiting for me behind the counter! They presented me with Clue #4 in a coffee cup and promptly disappeared.Clue #4 baffled me. (Getting older does NOT
mean that you necessarily get smarter!) With a lot of help from my friends and the elusive paparazzi, I heard strains of "The Sound of Music" wafting from the underpass-- "Kaohsiung is alive with the sound of music, With songs we have sung for the past few days. The underpass is filled with the sound of birthday..." The first song surprised me. The second song amazed me. After that, I was speechless. Somehow, this group managed to rewrite the lyrics to SIX 
different SOM songs for the occasion. Two more clues to go...It took a few guesses and a couple hints to solve Clue #5. I led the growing group (we were drawing attention to ourselves) to an outdoor cafe in the park-- not too far from the basketball court. There I found five people dressed in the "GAP summer look" (white and khaki), each reading at a different table with a single rose lying in front of them. They treated me to a light Oreo cake and peach smoothie, while I read my final clue...
Which took me "home" to Kingdom Hotel. The last five people stood outside with mismatching socks, hotel slippers, and newspapers shielding their faces. I pegged them all (including the newly corn-rowed Liesel), and then returned to my room heavily laden with a huge bouquet of
flowers, which had grown with each stop.That was two weeks ago. The flowers have since wilted, but that bouquet of everything from roses to sunflowers to Queen Anne's lace to daisies represented the variety of lives and friendships Jesus has already given me this year. One of my "New Year's resolutions" was to make time for people. In the past, work robbed me
of time with the seminar team. This year, I purposed to set aside work that wasn't absolutely necessary to build relationships with my teachers. The reward? Not only an incredible birthday celebration and a lot of fun memories, but a beautiful bouquet of friendships, which I hope will last through eternity.I guess getting older isn't such a bad thing after all...
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Editor's Note: While the characters in this Soul Lemonade are real, conversations were not quoted verbatim due to the editor's age and ailing memory. A BIG THANK YOU once again to the 2003 seminar team and all you did to make my transition into twenty-seven so memorable. I love you guys!
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Soul Lemonade, No. 4
Taipei, Taiwan
