A good friend recently decided to cut off all communication with me.
Shock settled into hurt. Hurt turned into anger. Anger seethed into bitterness. And bitterness, like poison, gnawed away at my soul. In the days that followed, rejection followed me like a hangover—it was the first thing that hit me in the morning and the last thing that haunted me as I drifted off to sleep.
It's been a long time since I've felt the bitter sting of betrayal.
I awoke Friday morning with a heavy heart. This was not exactly how I wanted to end the year. Gloomy thoughts hung over me like a cloud as I jogged to the track and ran my laps. Round and round I went, rehearsing all the scathing retorts my mind could conceive. I was part-way through the third lap, when a thought interrupted Retort #276: "You're spending more time figuring out how to tell off your friend than you are in venting directly to God. You're focusing more on yourself and how you've been hurt than on the Lord and His purposes for letting this happen."
With that revelation, the Lord began to do what I could not do for myself. That night, He broke me as the church began to sing "Be Still, My Soul."
Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side;The Refiner's fire burned steadily, patiently, but with increasing intensity. Figuratively speaking, I felt like I had been grabbing my friend by the scruff of the neck, but with each line and verse of that song, my fingers loosened their hold. As I surrendered to Jesus, He reached down from Heaven and began to unravel the emotional knots in my heart, freeing me from bitterness, erasing my anger, soothing my pain, and most importantly, drawing me to Himself. The more I surrendered, the closer He drew me.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order or provide
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul, thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
By saying yes to Him and no to myself, I found myself entering the new year... in His arms.
Can't beat that. ;-)
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"And God will wipe away every tear..." (Revelation 21:4)
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Soul Lemonade, No. 16
Taipei, Taiwan
