When I want something, manipulation usually kicks into high gear. That is why, when Dad offered me a window of opportunity to return to the US with him this month, it was next to impossible for me to discern God's will. I certainly knew why I wanted to go, and I could definitely make it worth everyone's while if I went. Yet I had a nagging feeling that dozens of good reasons would not suffice. I needed divine confirmation, and so I prayed, "Incline my heart to do Thy will."
Did He answer my prayer? Yes, and here's how--
Memo of events surrounding the "big decision":
Sept 1 - "Incline my heart to do Thy will..."
Sept 2 - I receive "confirmation" to proceed with plans to go.
Sept 3 - Grandpa Ho informs us that Typhoon Sinlaku is approaching Taiwan.
Sept 6 - Dad reconsiders the trip in light of the coming typhoon
and pressing office responsibilities. We decide to cancel flight reservations.
Sept 7 - UA 844 takes off 2 hours and 50 minutes after the
scheduled departure and presumably arrives in San Fran without catastrophe.
Sept 8 - Typhoon Sinlaku veers toward China.
Someone once said, "Hold all things loosely, but hold tightly onto God." Despite my September 2 confirmation, I tried desperately to keep my hopes in check, to continue praying, "Incline my heart..." The one thing that kept us from booking our tickets and packing our bags was Typhoon Sinlaku. Throughout that week, Dad and Tim checked the position of the typhoon. When the forecast said it would hit on Thursday, the typhoon conveniently slowed its pace enough to threaten our departure date (Saturday). The winds howled, as we gathered at the conference table Friday morning. We knew God was closing the door-- it was our turn to surrender.
Was I disappointed? Yes. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick..." (Proverbs 13:12). Yet I also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was the will of my Lord and Master, who bought me with His life. I had prayed that He would incline my heart to do His will... and I was ready to surrender without a fight.
When UA 844 chose to brave the storm, when Sunday morning dawned bright and sunny without a cloud in sight, my brother muttered something about the "irony" of it all. Yes, it was definitely ironic that one of the deciding factors turned out not to be a factor at all. On the flip side, I cannot help but feel awed that the Lord of the universe orchestrated a multitude of circumstances-- even churned a storm bigger than Taiwan-- to incline my heart to do His will. If He went to such great lengths for me, how could I not surrender so small a desire to Him?
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"The way I see it, we ought to be willing to die. In the military, we were taught that to obtain our objectives we had to be willing to be expendable. Missionaries must face that same expendability." ~ Nate Saint
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Soul Lemonade, No. 1
Taipei, Taiwan
