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Ask

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Twelve years ago, I prayed for something that altered the course of my life.

When Grace and I received an invitation to go on a third short-term missions trip to Taiwan, I asked the Lord for two things. First, I asked that Faith would be able to go along. She was only 13 at the time, too young to join the team. Still, I wanted her to experience it with us. Even though our appeal on her behalf had already been denied, for some strange reason, I asked God anyway to make a way for her to go. Secondly, Dad had been paying our previous trips out of his retirement fund. I realized this method wasn't going to work forever, so I asked the Lord to provide for our trip some other way.

The Lord answered my prayer a month later when IBLP asked our entire family to help start their Taiwan office. It was not the answer I wanted, but I knew He had answered loud and clear.

Leaving America was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I can now see how it was a critical turning point in my life.

A few months ago, the Lord had me pray for something else that altered the course of my life.

On Friday, May 11, my parents spoke to our church singles group about love and marriage. Dad opened that night with Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know." As he read, the Lord singled me out and said, "Karen, I want you to ask Me to show you something."

That night, upon returning to my room, I thought through the day's events and said, "OK, Lord, You told me to ask, so...I'm asking. Show me something great that I don't know."

That night, I dreamt that Luke Kallberg was interested in me.

I woke up the next morning thinking, "Wow--too much talk about love and relationships." I brushed off the dream and went on with my very single life.

Monday morning, however, Dad called me into his office. As I sat down, he said, "I wasn't going to tell you this, but I think you need to know that Luke Kallberg called two weeks ago to ask to court you."

"Oh no..." My mind reeled with the ramifications of this news. For the past two months, I had been praying that Luke could help us with VOICE. We needed him. Now he was ruining my perfect plans.

I managed to tell Dad I'd pray about how to respond and returned to my desk. As I tried focusing my attention toward the computer, I prayed, "God, how am I going to tell him no?"

The Lord responded, "Why are you going to tell him no?"

Confused, I replied, "Uhhh, because he's Luke Kallberg?"

"Karen, you asked Me for this."

"Lord, I did not ask You for Luke Kallberg."

All day, I argued with the Lord. By the time I went to bed, I thought I was losing my mind, and so I prayed, "Lord, if You're serious about this, could You please show me in Your Word?"

The next morning, I woke up, wondering if it had all been a dream. So I turned to the next chapter of Isaiah, and in Isaiah 33:2, I read, "O LORD, be gracious to us; we have waited for You."

So the Lord said to me, "Karen, I know you've been waiting all your life for the right person. Luke has also been waiting a long time. I am being gracious to both of you."

"This can't be right," I thought. "I must be reading into the Bible today. I think I'll read the Psalms instead."

So I turned to the next Psalm on my schedule--Psalm 128:

"Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you out of Zion, And may you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life. Yes, may you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel!"

"Lord," I protested, "You are not allowed to gang up with Luke Kallberg against me!"

The Lord responded, "Karen, for years you saw Luke through other people's eyes. I want you to see him from My perspective. He fears Me, I will bless him, and I want you to be a part of that blessing to him."

I was stunned. For the next three days, I pondered what the Lord had shown me. I thought through the qualities I appreciated about Luke. As the list grew, I began to realize that even though I had never made a "wish list," the Lord had heard every fleeting desire of my heart and fulfilled them in Luke. After three days, I had no more room to doubt, so I told Dad that the Lord was directing me to give Luke a fighting chance.

I've been falling in love ever since.

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For photos of my camping trip out West with his family, click here (Picasa) or here (Facebook).
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Soul Lemonade, No. 23
Taipei, Taiwan

Substance for Sacrifice

"...The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21)

Ten years ago, when nothing in Taiwan was defined and I was just learning how to set up a Children's Institute, I made a seemingly small decision that later changed my life. We were trying to figure out what kind of people to recruit as interpreters-- we had to nail down prerequisites for their spiritual maturity, their interpreting abilities, and their age. Salvation was a must; I soon discovered that I couldn't be picky about interpreting skills; and to avoid an influx of over-qualified mothers and teachers, I decided the interpreters should be between the ages of 15-30.

At the end of 2005, it was that last prerequisite that led me to pray about my future involvement with the CI. I never planned to stay in Taiwan, much less expected to last for the entire first decade of CI's. But as 30 loomed on the horizon, I knew I had to decide whether I was going to be the exception to the rule or if I would submit to a policy I had established for others years ago.

It did not take long for the Lord to point out how He had been behind that original decision and that, for the good of the ministry, it was time for me to pass the baton. And so I began to pray, to recruit new staff, to map out training, to figure out a feasible transition plan.

God's timing is impeccable. The crucial day of transition took place the day after my 31st birthday. After I introduced Hannah as the new Teacher Trainer, I sat down and, for the first time, took notes as someone else trained the assistants. When Large Group began that night, instead of taking my place on stage, I found myself at the back of the room, blinking back tears as the children called up someone other than "Jia An Jie."

Painful? YES. But I knew it was right. So many times throughout the trip, I asked the Lord why I couldn't have given up a ministry I didn't love so much. And He'd remind me of a divine encounter I had with Elisabeth Elliot years ago, when she told me, "It is the things you love most that is substance for sacrifice."

It is in the surrender of my affections-- even that which is good, that which He gave me in the first place-- that I declare Christ as First, Foremost, Only, All.

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"I need everything God gives me, and want nothing He denies me." (Joseph Elliot)

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To see a reflection on the first decade of CI's, click here.
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Soul Lemonade, No. 22
Taipei, Taiwan

Jealous

"...to be absent from the body [is] to be present with the Lord." (2 Corinthians 5:8)

Said good-bye to my friend Claire the other day.

When I received the email asking me to visit her in the hospital, my heart sank. She was ready, but was I? What on earth would I say?

I thought back to the beginning of our friendship ten years ago. She was a new believer with a lot of questions and a desire to practice English. That was how our paths crossed. Later on, I watched her head toward seminary and then to our daughter church near Danshui to head up the fledgling ministry there.

When I saw her earlier this year, she looked frail. She wasn't feeling well, couldn't shake her cough.

Three months later, the doctor said she had cancer.

Cancer.

The word sent a ripple of shock and sadness through our church. We prayed-- but for what? For healing to continue her life on earth? Or for healing to continue her life in Heaven?

When I received the email, I knew it was time to come to terms with God's answer. So Sunday afternoon, I climbed into the back seat of an elder's car and headed to the hospital. As he wound through Taipei traffic, I wracked my brain to figure out what I'd say.

We pulled into the hospital, took the elevator up to the seventh floor and found her room. Before we even pushed the door open, we could hear faint strains of someone singing inside. We stole in to find Claire sitting up in bed, hunched forward, breathing heavily through an inhalator but listening to the words of "He Hideth My Soul." We flipped to that hymn and quietly joined in.

When clothed in His brightness, transported I rise
To meet Him in clouds of the sky,
His perfect salvation, His wonderful love,
I'll shout with the millions on high.

I knew that cancer and chemo had ravaged her body, still I was not wholly prepared to see how close she was to death. She was tired from all the visitors that day, so we didn't tarry. Elder Pan prayed, and then we took turns giving her a gentle hug good-bye, blinking back tears that spilled over anyway.

What I didn't say then, I want to say now.

For the past couple months, Grace and Faith have been taking turns being out of the office. This implies a myriad of things-- one of which is the fact that they get to hang out with some dear friends...without me. I can't help but feel a bit jealous. How can I not be when they get to spend time face to face with people I love?

On Monday afternoon, Claire left to meet my dearest Friend of all.

I confess there was a time when I did not anticipate Heaven at all.

Now I can honestly say...

I'm jealous.
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Soul Lemonade, No. 21
Taipei, Taiwan

His Captive Audience

"I will sing to the LORD, for He has triumphed gloriously! The horse and its rider He has thrown into the sea! The LORD is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation; He is my God, and I will praise Him; my father's God, and I will exalt Him." (Exodus 15:1-2)

A Reflection on Taiwan/Hong Kong 2006, as written for tibungla.com

There is nothing quite like the desperation of being trapped-- caught between the Red Sea and Pharaoh's army, the choice of death by drowning or further slavery, the noise of terrified followers and your former captors. Yet you know that God brought you here, and so you watch Him set the stage for what could only be a miracle.

Many a time on this trip, I wavered between fear and faith. On the eve of our departure for Hong Kong, the Lord took me back to the Red Sea. I imagined myself standing with Moses and realized that the difference between him and the rest of the Israelites was his confidence in the will and power of God. He did not panic, because the reality of God was greater than the reality of his circumstances.

That is what God taught me on this trip. He is not limited by my circumstances or my limitations. He will show His power-- the question is whether or not I have the faith to anticipate and watch for it. That is when the desperation of being trapped turns into a rush of adrenaline as we watch the sea part before our very eyes.

There is nothing like being God's captive audience.

He is my God, and I will praise Him.

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To those who prayed for us:

Thank you for fighting with us in the spiritual realm. Thank you for sharing your loved ones with us. Thank you from the families of Taiwan, Hong Kong, and from the bottom of my heart.

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For photos, visit my blog at www.xanga.com/im2bize2blog.

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Soul Lemonade, No. 20
Taipei, Taiwan